In the Name of His Own Family

Time is going by so fast! Too fast! I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted... 

My life since my last post could be summed up as follows: 

...sam & jack are the best of friends, as i expected...
...before my travel restriction began i took a trip to mexico with my entire family for a week (bliss!)...

 ...my husband got a new job!!...

...jordan finally got LASIK & is hilarious when on Valum...

...our 3 year anniversary came & went...

...Evelyn's nursery is STILL incomplete...

... it's hot & i'm miserable...

 ...i'm down to biweekly doctor appointments...

(which blows my mind b/c we're getting so close to evie's arrival)

Some parts of this summary deserve further explaining...

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My cousin, Floyd III, got married a few weeks ago in Playa del Secreto, Mexico.  My entire family used the wedding weekend as an opportunity for a much-needed family trip.  For 8 days I was in heaven.   My parents rented one of the privately owned homes that make up the 1/2 mile beachfront strip called Playa del Secreto.  It was wonderful!  


We all had our own rooms & bathrooms, which is not an easy ammenity to come by when you're talking about 13 people under one roof! 


Our grounds were a dream: there was a huge pool with a lazy river that butted up to a palapa with a restroom & outdoor kitchen/dining area.  From the pool we could walk 10 ft. to the private beach.  


Since we weren't at a resort with restaurants, we didn't want my mother slaving in the kitchen the entire week, and going into town for lunch/dinner would require 13 people leaving the pool or beach, seize drinking sol & cocktails, shower & dress appropriately, get in our 2 rented vans & drive to either Playa del Carman or Cancun and search for a restaurant where we would undoubtedly spend a large sum of money, my parents had the most brilliant idea!


Instead of living the previous assumption of events, my parents opted to hire full time chefs to be at our house... Every morning we were each served a large plate of fresh fruit & then the brunch of our choice: fish tacos, ceviche, breakfast enchiladas, waffles/pancakes for the kids & me!!! They stayed all day and served us drinks by the pool and kept our bowls full of homemade chips, fresh guacamole & pico de gallo.  Then they'd serve us dinner which was always incredibly delectible!! We absolutely loved Fernando (head chef) & Allen (sous chef)... by the end of the week they were definately our amigos :)  


Also, A big thanks to Lucy & her family for keeping our sheets fresh and our house in order !!! 

________________________________________________________

My husband got a new job!!!

Background: In 1976, Rusty Loeffler opened a restaurant in Norman, Ok called Interurban.  In the last 35 years Interurban has blossomed into a growing chain and has also become a Norman staple.  It was only natural for Jordan to work the business in which he grew up.  The restaurant is as comfortable to Jordan as home.  Without even knowing it, Jordan was primed from birth to be a talented & successful restaurateur. 3 years ago Jordan started managing different Interurbans in Oklahoma City, Yukon, and was eventually managing the newest store in Norman.  


For those of you who have been or know somebody who is in the restaurant business, you can understand and appreciate the lifestyle that is required by a restaurant manager.  If you're like I was 3 years ago, you have no idea.  Let me clue you in.  In a nutshell: when the rest of the world is vacationing, off work, or celebrating any holiday or event you can bet the restaurant is at its busiest.  


What does this mean? My husband usually works 5-6 days a week. On the weeks that he is given 2 days off, they are never consecutive. 13-15 hour shifts are not uncommon, he works almost EVERY night until 12pm-1am.  Weekend get-aways (or any plans on the weekend for that matter) are out of the question.  Trips ended after our honeymoon.  Holidays, I have come to understand, are spent without my husband.


I'm not going to lie and say this lifestyle has been easy.  It hasn't.  But, at no point did I urge my husband to leave the restaurant for a career that would allow him to be home in the evenings, weekends, & holidays.  In fact, I myself fell in love with the restaurant. 


I was, at times, very lonely... but, most times, I was just so thankful that my husband has the kind of work ethic that few people possess. Ultimately, Jordan works his ass off for us.


I had accepted that this was, and always would be, our life story.  But, then the most miraculous thing happened: Evelyn!!!  


About 3 months ago, Jordan came home after a really long and hard weekend at the restaurant.  I was working on the nursery. He came in, stood in the middle of Evelyn's room, looked around, and said, "You know, I've missed out on the past three years.  I've missed out on us, and it's been okay because I was working and that only seemed natural.  And it was okay because I knew you could handle it.  But, I'm not willing to miss out on this.  I'm not willing to miss out on Evelyn."  


So  that was it.  He started researching careers that would continue to peak his interest while allowing him to be present in our family.  After 2 interviews with Republic National Distributing Co., Jordan was offered a position as a Liquor & Wine Representative.  


What does this mean? First & foremost: A normal lifestyle.  My husband sets his own hours, working during the day and coming home by dinner time.  Weekends & holidays: Evelyn will spend every moment with her daddy & momma.  Wanna take a week off for a quick trip? No problem! Not to mention, an immediate increase in salary & lots of chances for bonuses & promotions.  


I am so proud of Jordan for taking a step back and reevaluating whether he's meeting the needs of our family & his own in sustaining our priority: which is family.  For  making the hardest decision he's ever had to make and leaving his father's burgeoning company that was built with his parent's blood, sweat, & tears... all of this, in the name of His Own Family.  

___________________________________________________

Kaizer

So, I've been MIA... mentally, socially, & technologically.  

A lot has happened since my last post.

Kaizer was my shi tzu that has been my baby for 6 years.  I love him dearly! I got him during a rough patch during college and he served as my source of comfort and has since been my best friend. 

Kaizer

.

I told in my previous post of how we had a scare when we were told Kaizer had encountered some sort of abdominal blunt force trauma and had luckily survived.  Jordan's theory differed from the veterinary's theory on what exactly happened the day we found kaizer acting so strange.  The vet said he was either kicked or hit by a car.


My husband, in his infinite wisdom, suggested that kaizer had probably gotten stuck under the gate we had just installed, and struggled to get out: causing internal injuries.  The new gate replaced the old gate that left a 3 inch gap from itself and the ground.  Kaizer had no trouble digging a bit under the old gate and slipping right through to go hang out with the neighbors or lay in our front yard watching the cars pass, waiting on jordan or i to get home... But, this new gate was flush to the ground.  even opening it was a challenge.  We installed the new gate to protect kaizer: we were always fearful that he would get hit by a car when he got out... 


so, saturday mid-morning i put kaizer and sam in the backyard to enjoy the beautiful day.  kaizer was 100% after his mysterious blunt force trauma incident... at about 1:30 i went out to get the dogs.  sam reluctantly came in from over by the gate... kaizer never came.  I assumed he had gotten out again and went out front to start calling for him.  i then rounded the corner over on the side of our house where our gate is.  That's when I saw him.  Kaizer's body was jammed under the fence, his head on the backyard side.  I dug with my bare hands to release him, but he was already gone.  Ironically the gate we installed to protect our little man killed him.


I, of course, was ballistic... and alone.  Jordan couldn't leave work.  My Uncle Si was so sweet to come get Kaizer's body and bury him on land outside of norman.  We chose not to bury him in our backyard in fear that Sam would dig him up.


I've been grieving hard... Sam's been grieving harder.  Kaizer was Sam's best friend and Sam watched him die, possibly trying his hardest to save him.  Sam's experience is even more tragic than mine, and his grief is a testiment to that.  Sam will hardly eat, has no energy, and most hours of the day can be found laying in the backyard by the gate.  It's breaking my heart that I can't make it better for him.


The best thing I could have done for my own grief was start over with another puppy to love.  I got another shi-tzu that looks an awful lot like kaizer.  He's the sweetest little guy and is definately softening the blow of the loss of my kaiz.  The new puppy's name is Jack.

Meet Jack

Sam is trying his hardest to be hospitable to the new member of our family.  

I know he's confused, but one day they'll be the best of friends.

Kaizer: I love you more than you could have ever known.  

You were my sweetest boy! And you are missed every day!

 

Puppies, Babies, & Showers

Kaizer is home & doing 150% better! Thank you all for your kind words...

 Just to clue you in if you have no idea what I'm talking about, on the day that I was 'vomiting on the curb of leadership square', you know the day that couldn't have possibly gotten worse, I went home from work early.  I'm so glad that I did because when I got home I realized immediately that something was terribly wrong with Kaizer.  He wouldn't hold his head up, he couldn't focus on me, and he couldn't walk a straight line.  I asked Jordan if something happened while I was at work and he said that he came home from running errands and Kaizer had gotten out of the back yard and was sitting on the front porch waiting on him and was acting really strange, but Jordan didn't think much of it.

I took him to the vet immediately who determined Kaizer had sustained some sort of blunt force trauma to the abdomen... either he was clipped by a car or somebody kicked him!!! His spleen & pancreas was swollen and his eyes wouldn't dilate.  Our biggest concern was that he was bleeding internally &/or  had brain damage.  I, of course, was ballistic.  Kaizer is a part of our family and I will be devastated when we lose him, be it accidental or natural.

Kaizer spent 3 days/2 nights at the vet... I was able to bring him home today and they've determined that there are no lasting internal injuries! Thank God!!!!!

In other news: Evelyn is moving a lot!!! It's the best feeling in the world!  Also, I finished our registries at Tulips & Babies-R-Us... so excited for my baby showers! Evelyn is so blessed that so many people love her.

Vomitting on the Curb of Leadership Square

If you think you're having a bad day, read on... you'll feel better in 5 minutes, I promise!

So, on my way to work this morning I go to Bancfirst in downtown OKC to deposit a couple checks.  After I leave the bank I'm driving down Robert S. Kerr Boulevard and without warning I vomitted.  I vomitted everywhere.  I didn't even have a chance to open the door! I happen to have my mother's car for the week, so I vomitted in HER car.  All over myself.  EVERYWHERE!

I pulled over to the side of the road, opened my door and continued to throw up on the streets of downtown OKC... on the curb of Leadership Square.  The business people walking by were, of course, stopping to watch the train wreck that was my latte in projectile regurgitation. 

In a panic I begin looking around my mother's car for a towel, t-shirt, napkin, hell I would have been thrilled to have found a Sonic hamburger wrapper... ANYTHING to wipe myself down.  But no... there was nothing that resembled anything that could be used to clean up this disgusting hot mess!!

I call into work and tell them I won't be there for a couple hours.  I drove immediately to the Red Carpet on NW Expressway right across the street from Penn Square Mall.  I rolled my window down just a bit and asked the sweet girl if I could please have a towel.  I'm sure she could smell me from the other side: Mortifying.  She slipped me a towel and I cleaned up as much as I possibly could before stepping out and leaving my waste for someone else to scrub up.  I got out and told the girl to please detail to the nth degree and apologized perfusely for what the workers were about to experience.

I handed my keys over and began my treck across NW Expressway to Penn Square Mall.  I first stopped at the Kiehl's counter and bought face wash and moisturizer.  Then I went to Pea In the Pod and bought the cutest dress and jean jacket, which of course didn't match the flats I was wearing.  So, I then went to Baker's to buy a pair of sandals... all the while probably smelling to high hell.

I go into Dillards and find the 'Family Restroom'... I washed my face, reapplied my makeup (it's a friggen miracle I had my makeup in the car), changed clothes, sat on the the little couch for a minute and took a deep breath to regain my sanity... somewhat.

THEN, I had to climb up the small moutain that separates the Penn Square parking lot from NW Expressway, wait for the bright yellow hand to turn into a white stick man who looks as though he might walk right out of the box that houses him.  I finally get the go ahead to cross without breaking some sort of jaywalking law and, of course, half way through the 6 lane freeway, oncoming traffic begins to creep my direction.  I'm the pitiful pregnant girl waddling as quickly as she possibly can in hopes that the three cars inching near her are being driven by people who actually have souls and will stop for a girl who clearly is not having a good day... which apparantly they did... have souls, I mean.

I make it back over to Red Carpet to retrieve my momma's car.  I'm in the lobby waiting for the attendant so that I may pay and get the hell on with my day.  It's eleven o'clock and i've already endured far more than I have stamina.  As I'm waiting, a gentleman in the lobby area says, "honey, you wanna sit down and get a breath?"  And I say, "no thank you, I just really want to get to my car." To which he replies, "You taking prenatal vitamins? I see you shakin' over there". 

That's when Mona appeared (Mona is my alter-ego that I acquired sometime after we conceived.  She occassionally pops out of the wood work to handle situations that I, myself, am illequipped to manage.  Jordan, unable to ignore this other whole person living inside of me (and i'm not referring to the baby) that rears her ugly head, felt obliged to name her.  Mona, short for hormonal.)

Where was I? ah, 'You takin' prenatal vitamins? I see you shakin' over there!' Mona, with her dialated pupils, heightened heart rate, and cold stare that could frighten John Wayne into submission, quickly took over.  "Sir, have you ever been pregnant?"  The man cocked his head a bit, I imagine in an attempt to figure out if he should laugh at the rhetorical question, or be offended because I'm clearly a bitch.  Mona continued "No, probably not.  I appreciate your willingness to offer me advice on prenatal care, but my child will be just fine with or without you..."  All the while she's coyly smiling which really sets off the victim who is clearly confused by Mona's inappropriate smile and kind facial expressions that are accompanying her curt verbage.  

I know, I know... I should apologize for Mona, but she is literally out of my control.

I finally get to my car, and an hour and a half after having pulled away from the bank teller, I'm walking into work.  

feel better about your day??  Glad I could be of assistance.

Wow, you're REALLY pregnant!

I've been very busy today, and oddly enough have enough energy left to post before I go to bed.

I'm hosting a shower for one of my best friends in Norman tomorrow.  I worked all day to get the center pieces for the tables all put together and put lights in the yellow paper lanterns so they're ready to adorn the tables tomorrow. We're having the shower on the Interurban patio,  so the only things that have to be done on my part are the invitations, handling rsvp's,  and decorations! all the fun stuff! cooking, drinks, serving... my husband put all that together, but even HE will get to relax tomorrow night (well, we'll see... usually when we're at his restaurant, relaxing is out of the realm of possiblity for him)

so, here's some of the cute things that ashley runnels and i have put together for brynn's party!!!
Look at these Invitations! I really LOVE them!

Anyway, so that shower is tomorrow so i spent the morning and afternoon preparing.  Then, I got all gussied up and went to the Sieber in Oklahoma City for a wedding shower for one of my very favorite people in the world, my cousin Floyd Simon III.  He's getting married in June in Mexico and I cannot wait!! The wedding happens to be 2 weeks prior to my traveling restriction!!! Thank goodness they didn't plan the wedding any later! 

So, F-ey's party was great.... yummy food, scrumptious glass of wine (singular), and fabulous company! So many of my friends and family that I got to see tonight, I haven't seen since I got pregnant... so, of course there was a lot of "wow, you're REALLY pregnant" comments. hahaha.  and every woman there looked tragically thin to me.  It was so great being able to see everyone!  

welp, it's 11:43 p.m. so i guess i'll go lay down.  this is my favorite time of the day because when I get in bed, Evie makes her presence known.  She starts poking me with what I imagine to be her index finger and toes, as if to say, "don't start getting comfy now momma... when i get outta here sleep won't be an option... no use putting it off".... Luckily for me, her attempts are in vain because those little nudges are so comforting to me that they put me right to sleep!!!! ........zzzzzzzzzz

Evelyn Doesn't Like Manual Labor

I have a list of things that need to be done before Evelyn arrives:


1. Clean out the garage
          - about 6 months before I got pregnant I decided to renovate our house.  I began with the living room, painting all the woodwork and walls... even getting new furniture.  Then I took on the kitchen.  I ripped up all the countertops and put down tile on the countertops. i put brick pavers in as the backsplash.   i installed a butcher block, new sink, and new stove.  I tore out a cabinet to install a trash compactor.  I also painted all the woodwork in the kitchen.  I didn't hire anyone!!!! Needless to say I worked my butt off.  Our garage became my workspace and my time was NOT spent cleaning up after myself.  The house looks GREAT! the garage became a complete disaster area.  saw dust, paint, mortar, concrete, tools were everywhere!! we couldn't even walk through the garage... before this baby gets here we HAD to undo what I had done to the garage.


2. Turn the office into a nursery


3. have our carpets professionally cleaned
           - our carpets in the bedrooms have gotten a bit splotchy from my puppies... not good for a baby


I know there's so much more to this list.  the point is, we finally knocked off one of big ones.  Jordan and I took a deep breath yesterday morning and went full speed ahead and turned our demolished concrete room attached to the side of the house into a functioning and CLEAN garage!! it feels so good to have that done!! but, i over did it.  I started having sharp pains in my lower abdomen, probably from stooping and lifting for 5 hours straight.  The pain got really bad last evening.  I finally called the doctor and they told me to take a warm bath, take some tylenol and lie down for the rest of the night.  And to check occassionally to make sure I wasn't bleeding.  I began to feel better and this morning felt just fine (aside from my daily headache) although I keep checking for blood just to be sure.  but, all is fine.  needless to say, evelyn warned me that she really doesn't like manual labor!! 

My Resident Teddy Bear

Jordan was off work yesterday and since I make a weekly effort to be off the same days as he, so was I.  In my previous post I told of how we had an ultrasound appointment on Saturday to find out the sex of the baby.  Well, we got a little anxious! I called A Glimpse Before and After and she was kind enough to squeeze us in for a quick session!!! Again, GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE...

I was afraid that 18 weeks would be too early to decipher a little girl from a little boy since the doctors all make you wait until 20 weeks.  So, you can imagine my surprise when at 17 1/2 weeks our baby had developed just enough to to leave us without question!

It's A Girl!!!

My suspicions were only confirmed while Jordan had no preconceived notions.  During our ultrasound I fell in love with Jordan all over again.  When we were told it was a girl, he just melted.  Big crocodile tears welled up in his eyes and he couldn't stop kissing my hand and forehead.  There's something about a little girl that will turn a man into butter at room temperature.  He's completely in love with her already... and he already looks at me differently.  To Jordan I'm fragile, sweet, wholesome, of worth that I may not even deserve...

We got in the car after our ultrasound and Jordan asked, "Who do you think will be the disciplinarian?"....

I could only laugh in response.  Jordan doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell to be hard on his baby girl... he is forever changed.  Jordan will be the resident teddy bear, and I love him for it!

Soft Neutral & Subtle Pear

We're waiting to find out what we're having before we begin our registries, but even before we got pregnant I knew what crib linens I wanted regardless of the sex of our baby.... I'll eventually fully register at Tulips, but right now the only thing on my registry is my crib bedding.  They were kind enough to get it in the store for me even though it hasn't been purchased yet! Gotta love great customer service, ya? Anyway, so I got a phone call today from the girls at Tulips and my bedding came in!!!! I couldn't get there quickly enough to see it... and I love love love it! Below are pictures of it in white although mine is in greige and celedon (a really soft neutral and subtle pear)... 

The bed skirt & pillow

in Tat

My bumper is in Ida

The comfortor is in Heirloom

Here are some other must haves that will be on my registry!

The Toy Box!

I love this pendant! I want 3 of them to hang over 

the changing table or my glider... 

probably over the changing table

This lamp emulates perfectly the theme I'm going for in the nursery... 

LOVE IT!

This charcoal rug will be stunning against any wall color, 

be it petal pink or powder blue!

Dresser & Door Hardware for A Baby Girl

Dresser Hardware for a Baby Boy, I cant decide between them... any thoughts???

Full Speed Ahead & Crash

Has it really been a month since I've posted?!?
Life happened I guess...


we're 15 weeks in, only 24 weeks to go!


I was telling a friend the other day that i'm at a weird middle ground of the pregnancy: the excitement has passed and there's nobody left to tell (of course i'm still so excited, but just the initial shock and kind of excitement that makes you giggle like a 5 year old has passed)... and i can't feel the baby yet.  i do have a growing tummy that reminds me every day, but i feel like until i feel that little flutter i'm just sitting around waiting.  


i rented a fetal doppler! it's been amazing to be able to listen to the heart any time i want! since i can't feel the baby yet i sometimes get worried, but now i can reassure myself that everything is a-ok! i just checked and the heart rate was 160 from what i could count (it's so fast that i almost can't keep up in counting)


i'm beginning to get my energy back, but it's in spurts.  today i had so much energy and it was beautiful outside.  i left work early and came home with full intentions of working in the yard.  i wanted to rake all the leaves in the front yard and the flower bed.  i literally got half way through moving the leaves from the flower bed onto the driveway.  went inside to get a drink and fell asleep... of course never picking up where i left off!! *sigh* the problem is when i get a little energy, i go full speed ahead and just crash! 


so, what else... jordan and i have an appointment at A Glimpse Before & After on jordan's birthday (April 10) and we're going to get to find out the sex of the baby for sure... I have a feeling it's a girl, but who knows! I'm so anxious to find out for sure so we can start the nursery and our registry!!! so exciting! 
I hope i get the chance, or more accurately, i hope i think to post before then, but if I don't I definately will soon after to let you all know what this little thing growing inside of me is!! 

My Bird Sanctuary

So, I finished painting the canvases the other night and applied the trees the next evening.  It was definately not as easy as I was anticipating.  It took me 4 hours... an hour per tree!! i cannot wait to get the nursery painted so I can hang the canvases.  Here are some pictures of my progress along the way.

AND THE FINAL PRODUCT

I'm really pleased with the final result... it's 6 ft. x 6 ft so it will take up the majority of one wall of the nursery & kind of be the focal point.  so, now i need to paint the walls and the woodwork!!! (which is NO FUN!)

The Perfect Shade of Gray

it's 12:46 pm and i cannot sleep *sigh* 
i started feeling sick about 10 pm 
(flu like symptoms, hoping it's not the flu)
AND tomorrow is my long day at work.  disasterous!


those who can't sleep: blog, right?!? well, i'm hoping it'll be my remedy...
First off, I heard a song today that I want to use as a lullaby for the baby.... its lyrics are beautiful.  i'll share a snippet with you:

When you walk through a storm

Keep your chin up high

And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm, is a golden sky

and the sweet silver song of a lark

-Rodgers & Hammerstein, 1945

are those lyrics not beautiful?

... moving on...

I started on my first project for the nursery today!! I saw that canvases were 40% off at Michael's and lo & behold! I need canvases for the nursery!!! so, i went and bought six (two different sizes)... i've painted them the perfect shade of gray (but not without my mask with its very own ventilation system!!) and will be adding these incredibly beautiful and ethereal white tree and bird decals (hopefully tomorrow)... it will take up most of my one blank wall... the vision in my mind is soft, sweet, serene & sophisticated. (that's a lot of 's' adjectives).... here are some pictures of my progress... stay tuned to see the final product!!! i think you'll love it

Blank Canvases                   Me & my ventilated mask! no fumes for me!

    the perfect shade of gray       finished with my second coat!

okay, it's now 1:09 a.m.  i'm gonna go see if sleep will accept me... night night!

Something Tangible

jordan and i had our first doctor's appointment today!!!

It was my first meeting with the man who will deliver our baby!! jordan and i really liked dr. porter... he spent 45 minutes in the room with us answering all our questions and making us feel comfortable. 


I was not scheduled to have an ultrasound but dr. porter could tell that i had some concerns about possibly having multiples since my chances for such were increased by clomid... so, he allowed us to have our first ultrasound today!!

THANK YOU DR. PORTER!!

but, first we heard the heartbeat... WOW.  i was in complete awe of that gallopping repetative sound of life. i wish i could permanently listen to that sound through the entire pregnancy... so secure and strong! 177 beats/minute... my little peanut is working so hard!!! i fell a little more in love... 


....then we had our ultrasound!!!

!!!!!ONE BABY!!!!!

of course we were relieved to find out we were not having multiples!!! a friend of mine said she heard jordan's sigh all the way from the other side of norman... hahaha.

the baby measures at 9 weeks 1 day as opposed to 10 weeks which we originally thought. 

so, our new due date is September 15, 2010!!! 

i have so much to do before then... 

A Letter to The Baby

DeaR bAbY,


even befoRe i have a belly that provEs to everyonE

...tHat you're here 

&

that you're mine...

even before i know whether you'll be 

...your dadDy's little girl

oR 

yoUr momma's baby boy...

even befoRe i've fElt you flutter wiThin mE, 

...i know... 

you are the greatest gifT God has giveN!!

...i know...

i have moRe love for you thaN 

i've eveR iMagineD possible

i look so forwaRd to Every dAy i have witH yOu... 

...before you greet us...

 and chanGe our liveS Forever...

:for the next 7 months: 

:you are mine : and i yours:

you are my greatest accomplishment, 

my sweet angel

i love you,

momma