Full Speed Ahead & Crash

Has it really been a month since I've posted?!?
Life happened I guess...


we're 15 weeks in, only 24 weeks to go!


I was telling a friend the other day that i'm at a weird middle ground of the pregnancy: the excitement has passed and there's nobody left to tell (of course i'm still so excited, but just the initial shock and kind of excitement that makes you giggle like a 5 year old has passed)... and i can't feel the baby yet.  i do have a growing tummy that reminds me every day, but i feel like until i feel that little flutter i'm just sitting around waiting.  


i rented a fetal doppler! it's been amazing to be able to listen to the heart any time i want! since i can't feel the baby yet i sometimes get worried, but now i can reassure myself that everything is a-ok! i just checked and the heart rate was 160 from what i could count (it's so fast that i almost can't keep up in counting)


i'm beginning to get my energy back, but it's in spurts.  today i had so much energy and it was beautiful outside.  i left work early and came home with full intentions of working in the yard.  i wanted to rake all the leaves in the front yard and the flower bed.  i literally got half way through moving the leaves from the flower bed onto the driveway.  went inside to get a drink and fell asleep... of course never picking up where i left off!! *sigh* the problem is when i get a little energy, i go full speed ahead and just crash! 


so, what else... jordan and i have an appointment at A Glimpse Before & After on jordan's birthday (April 10) and we're going to get to find out the sex of the baby for sure... I have a feeling it's a girl, but who knows! I'm so anxious to find out for sure so we can start the nursery and our registry!!! so exciting! 
I hope i get the chance, or more accurately, i hope i think to post before then, but if I don't I definately will soon after to let you all know what this little thing growing inside of me is!! 

My Bird Sanctuary

So, I finished painting the canvases the other night and applied the trees the next evening.  It was definately not as easy as I was anticipating.  It took me 4 hours... an hour per tree!! i cannot wait to get the nursery painted so I can hang the canvases.  Here are some pictures of my progress along the way.

AND THE FINAL PRODUCT

I'm really pleased with the final result... it's 6 ft. x 6 ft so it will take up the majority of one wall of the nursery & kind of be the focal point.  so, now i need to paint the walls and the woodwork!!! (which is NO FUN!)

The Perfect Shade of Gray

it's 12:46 pm and i cannot sleep *sigh* 
i started feeling sick about 10 pm 
(flu like symptoms, hoping it's not the flu)
AND tomorrow is my long day at work.  disasterous!


those who can't sleep: blog, right?!? well, i'm hoping it'll be my remedy...
First off, I heard a song today that I want to use as a lullaby for the baby.... its lyrics are beautiful.  i'll share a snippet with you:

When you walk through a storm

Keep your chin up high

And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm, is a golden sky

and the sweet silver song of a lark

-Rodgers & Hammerstein, 1945

are those lyrics not beautiful?

... moving on...

I started on my first project for the nursery today!! I saw that canvases were 40% off at Michael's and lo & behold! I need canvases for the nursery!!! so, i went and bought six (two different sizes)... i've painted them the perfect shade of gray (but not without my mask with its very own ventilation system!!) and will be adding these incredibly beautiful and ethereal white tree and bird decals (hopefully tomorrow)... it will take up most of my one blank wall... the vision in my mind is soft, sweet, serene & sophisticated. (that's a lot of 's' adjectives).... here are some pictures of my progress... stay tuned to see the final product!!! i think you'll love it

Blank Canvases                   Me & my ventilated mask! no fumes for me!

    the perfect shade of gray       finished with my second coat!

okay, it's now 1:09 a.m.  i'm gonna go see if sleep will accept me... night night!

Something Tangible

jordan and i had our first doctor's appointment today!!!

It was my first meeting with the man who will deliver our baby!! jordan and i really liked dr. porter... he spent 45 minutes in the room with us answering all our questions and making us feel comfortable. 


I was not scheduled to have an ultrasound but dr. porter could tell that i had some concerns about possibly having multiples since my chances for such were increased by clomid... so, he allowed us to have our first ultrasound today!!

THANK YOU DR. PORTER!!

but, first we heard the heartbeat... WOW.  i was in complete awe of that gallopping repetative sound of life. i wish i could permanently listen to that sound through the entire pregnancy... so secure and strong! 177 beats/minute... my little peanut is working so hard!!! i fell a little more in love... 


....then we had our ultrasound!!!

!!!!!ONE BABY!!!!!

of course we were relieved to find out we were not having multiples!!! a friend of mine said she heard jordan's sigh all the way from the other side of norman... hahaha.

the baby measures at 9 weeks 1 day as opposed to 10 weeks which we originally thought. 

so, our new due date is September 15, 2010!!! 

i have so much to do before then... 

A Letter to The Baby

DeaR bAbY,


even befoRe i have a belly that provEs to everyonE

...tHat you're here 

&

that you're mine...

even before i know whether you'll be 

...your dadDy's little girl

oR 

yoUr momma's baby boy...

even befoRe i've fElt you flutter wiThin mE, 

...i know... 

you are the greatest gifT God has giveN!!

...i know...

i have moRe love for you thaN 

i've eveR iMagineD possible

i look so forwaRd to Every dAy i have witH yOu... 

...before you greet us...

 and chanGe our liveS Forever...

:for the next 7 months: 

:you are mine : and i yours:

you are my greatest accomplishment, 

my sweet angel

i love you,

momma

my nephew and i will ALMOST share a birthday

my sister, allyson, and i experienced pregnancy together for 7 whole weeks! She just gave birth to a perfect child on january 20  

...Simon McSpadden Flaming...
...7 lbs 2 oz...
...19.5 in...

                   
                   allyson & colby's second child
                                      william's first brother
                                           my parent's fifth grandbaby
                                                           and my fourth nephew 

i said to allyson the other day, 
"I can NOT believe that you are about to have this baby!

... this pregnancy went SO quickly!!"

seconds after i made that statement i wanted to apologize 

because I now know unequivocally:

pregnancies happen quickly  

only for those who  

aren't pregnant

ive been pregnant for five minutes and i am well aware that there will be nothing quick about the time between now and mid september...  everything about my day... every decision impacts something greater than me!! so, i now say to my sister:

knowing that my pregnancy will not happen as quickly as yours did through my eyes,

i envy how quickly my pregnancy will seem through yours

on another note: i'm beginning to feel my own form of morning sickness... i wake up in the morning, not nauseated, but oddly full... the thought of food isn't enticing at all...revolting even... nothing sounds good to eat.  

so i listen to my body and wait to eat.  waiting only half an hour or so i begin feeling incredibly dizzy, so i eat.... which is followed by a kind of sleepiness that is matched only by local anesthesia.  again, listening to my body, i sleep.  after an hour or so, i hit the floor running and the rest of the day i feel great!! 

not bad if you ask me! i've definately heard horror stories of morning sickness being more like morning, afternoon, and evening close-to-death-experiences of which the only relief is 8 hours of sleep from midnight to 8 am.  i'll take my symptomology over that any day!!! so, thus far, no complaints... key words being: THUS FAR!! stay tuned...

The Tree of Life

i know i'm probably being uber-vigilent when it comes to paying attention to every detail of this pregnancy.
i don't know if it's because i am and always have been a bit of a romantic (and a bit dramatic)...
or if it's because i have been looking so forward to starting a family that now that it's happening i'm holding on to every second... 
or if it's possibly because this is our first child and naturally i have nothing else to do than to pay attention to and give great importance to every measly detail... 
regardless: one of the side effects of my hypervigilence has been my incessant need to chronicle this entire journey. case in point: i've promised myself i would write the baby a letter once a week (atleast) for the next 9 months with the intention of giving him/her the letters when he/she turns 20 or so... old enough to appreciate it i guess. 


sooo.... i asked jordan to get me a journal for Christmas (mind you this was before we found out we were pregnant)... i got the journal in the mail 2 days after i was drooling toothpaste down my pink robe (see below)


the journal he gave me is absolutely incredible... we found it on Etsy.  it was handmade by an incredibly gifted artist in Chicago.  she hand-binds notebooks and journals and handmakes her covers. this one in particular is made of polymer clay...  

the journal is called TREE OF LIFE... how appropriate is that?? and beautiful!! i'm so excited to have it and create this small keepsake for our baby.

i woke up at 3 am this morning, a thought came to me... crystal clear...hit me like lightening... a thought i wanted to share with the baby.  i had to sit up and write a letter real quick.... poor jordan.

and baby makes three...

last monday i lost my cookies at work

tuesday my suspicions were confirmed

.....

BABY MAKES THREE

_________________________________________

i was so tired tuesday morning... i didn't even open my eyes as i held the ept beneath me

 luckily monday night before i went to bed

i put the stick on my toilet seat for the next morning's meeting with fate

otherwise, i would not have taken the time to unwrap it 
let alone wait on the final verdict!!

like i said, i was so tired tuesday morning...

with one eye open i picked up my strategically placed pregnancy test

when i finished i was too tired to wait... in my mind i was thinking

 ovulation tracker says:1 in 7...no way we conceived!

(december was the first time in 7 months that i ovulated)

... i went back to my warm bed and nestled up with sam & kaiz

......

an hour or so later, i threw on my pink robe

i had completely forgotten about the ept

i was brushing my teeth ... and that's when i saw it

before i even gave myself the chance to spit out my colgate
i ran into the kitchen to find jordan eating a bowl of fruit loops

you have to picture me...

ept in one hand, toothbrush in the other

balling

with toothpaste running down my chin onto my pink robe

...what a memory...