i know this because evelyn belly-laughs

I keep thinking I'm going to get in the blogging mode again... that I'll miraculously have the time and mental energy to sit down and post after I put Evelyn down for the night... all of you mothers know that's not a consistent reality.  


I've barely blinked since my last post... seriously, this mommy business might be a conspiracy put on by whomever controls the clock.  time really DOES go by faster!!!


I feel like Evelyn has progressed so much developmentally in the last couple weeks... She's sleeping so much less.  To the point that taking her to work with me has become a bad idea.  I thought I would have more time before having to find day-care or a babysitter.  Like everything else, it snuck up on me...


Before Christmas, I was making homemade gingerbread cookies for our neighbors across the street and our cleaning lady.  Our neighbors across the street are a retired couple who I've grown to love... and who, I believe, have grown to love us 

{ although, for them it was a long road! 

These are the same people who lived 

across the street when Jordan bought our 

home his sophomore year at OU. 

....

 And we are the same people who basically had 

street parties every weekend and undoubtedly 

kept george and karen up all night 

through our collegiate years... listening to soulja boy

or something as equally lame! }

for everyone's sake, jordan and i have settled down a little bit and party a lot less... 

as we've domesticated, we've also come to know our sweet neighbors. 

 Anyway, as I was making their gingerbread cookies, it dawned on me... Why not ask George & Karen to keep Evelyn!?!?  So, that night I took their cookies to them and asked them to consider keeping Evelyn 2 days a week while I work.  There was no thinking involved... they immediately accepted.  And I'm pretty sure Karen jumped up and down :)

It's been the best thing for both Evelyn & I... and quite possibly for Karen & George.


Gramma Karen & Papa George love Evelyn.  I know this because George talks to Evelyn in his Daffy Duck voice until she is belly laughing.  And Karen gets disappointed when I switch my work schedule around and she has to wait an extra day to see Evelyn again.


And Evelyn loves Gramma Karen & Papa George.  I know this because Evelyn belly laughs at George's Daffy Duck voice.  She doesn't cry when I leave.  She naps well which tells me she feels right at home.  She cuddles with Karen... And they have a fan on their ceiling... which, never fails to win Evelyn's heart.

Evie is also eating solids!!! 

peas, peaches, sweet potatoes, bananas, squash, cereal... 

she loves it all!!

On another note:  recently, i've been craving creativity... When I was pregnant I was always working on Evelyn's nursery.  Her room was my creative project for a while... Since she's arrived, I have been starved of creativity.  So, I've decided to figure out a way to be creative again.  

I'm going to learn to sew! 

My MIL sews and owns a Bernina, which apparently is the rolls royce of sewing machines... so, i'm going to take advantage of my resources and have her teach me.  

My first project? 

I'm going to make stacking rings for evelyn... 

...using these fabrics...

I'm so excited for the pattern and materials to come in!! 

I'm also a bit intimidated!! 

If I complete this project without breaking the bernina, sewing my finger to a stacking ring, or putting my head through a wall... I might have to buy my own sewing machine...

 MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP YOU KNOW!

While I wait on the ingredients for that project to show up on my doorstep, I started figuring out how to make the kinds of head pieces that I buy for Evelyn on Etsy all the time.

Last night I made this little ditty... and I wore it today to work... and actually got compliments!

My creativity tank is now half full! 

This rosette cluster is a product of upcycled ribbon, pillow case, 

t-shirt, and a pair of jeans that evelyn has outgrown... 

Maybe even I could sell the manifestations of my creative cravings on etsy

... ah, let's not get ahead of ourselves...

The Binky Battle

Evelyn must have known I was singing her praises for sleeping through the night... last night she did a 180 on me.  It's been a while since we've had a bad night, but last night ranked up there with "all night colic spell" & "reflux to the point of projectile regurgitation"... if I had to give last night a name, let it be "Binky Battle"...

Binky Battle

A game that Evelyn loves to hate... and that I just hate...

Evelyn loves her binky.  Must have her binky to sleep! Of course, I created this monster... instead of just letting her cry herself to sleep in the early days, I plugged her up with the binky.  Of course, it silenced her like a charm and even settled her enough to fall asleep quicker and easier.  

The drawback? Now, she MUST have the binky... 

"But, that isn't a problem... just give her the binky", you say!! 

 Oh if it were only that simple! 

You see, Evelyn doesn't have the dexterity to take a fallen binky and simply place it in her mouth... and her sucking reflex seizes when she falls asleep.  So, inevitably when she falls asleep she loses her binky, wakes up to an empty mouth, gets upset, can't put it back in on her own, gets MORE upset... you can see where this is going!!!  

-Usually when she loses her pacifier, she's in a deep enough sleep that she just doesn't notice and goes without it the rest of the night... 

last night was an exception!

So, 'Baby Wise' says that as long as you know the baby has a dry diaper, is not within 30 minutes of a feeding, and is not ill, letting the baby cry themselves to sleep will NOT hurt the baby.  and I quote:

"There may be a brief period of fussing or crying 

when you put the baby down...

Your baby will not lose brain cells, experience a drop in IQ, 

or have feelings of rejection that will leave her manic-depressive at age thirty...

ON THE OTHER HAND: 
if you want a fussy baby, never let her cry, 

and hold, rock, and feed her as soon as she starts to fuss.  

We guarantee that you will achieve your goal!!!!"

I'm not sure that 'Baby Wise' took into consideration the baby who's tenacity is undying!! Evelyn cried, wait... let me restate:  Evelyn SCREAMED for 30 minutes.  I knew that her diaper was dry, she was not ill, and she had just finished 7 oz. of milk & cereal... that child could NOT have been hungry.  


I went in & she had lost her binky... it was laying only inches from her face and she had tears pouring out of her precious eyes and was screaming at the pacifier... as if to will it back into her mouth.  I replaced the pacifier, rubbed her back for a minute until she settled. Minutes later she was asleep again... only to awaken for round 2 of the binky battle!!


This went on all night long!!  45 minutes wouldn't go before another 30-minute screaming session began... therefore, I probably got five or six 30-minute increments of sleep... I was a complete zombie this morning!! 


I usually take Evelyn to work with me... she always requires atleast 50% of my concentration.  Today I didn't even have 50% of concentration to offer... therefore, I turned to my mother, best friend, and more times than not, life saver! 


I talked to her at 7:00 am and asked her to come to Norman to keep Evelyn for the day so that I could somewhat focus at work.  I no more than completed my sentence, and mom was on her way here... So, Evelyn got to spend the day with her Sittie... and I was somewhat productive at work!   

Last night was exhausting! I just hope tonight is peaceful!!! 

On a sweeter note:

May Your House Smell Like Home

Evelyn is in her swing napping after hanging out in the kitchen with mommy, watching me cook from her counter topped Bumbo

Jordan is showering, getting 'centered' before the big OU game...

Ruz & Yahknee is simmering on the stove, filling the house with the inviting scent of hearty buttered braised beef, rich tomato juice, and warm cinnamon- a combination that, for me, smells like home.

The Christmas lights are wrapped tightly around the trunk of our hundred year old Oak... fifteen feet of bark covered in tiny clear lights, seizing to look like individual strands...giving our Oak her one month of the year to really shine, illuminating our quaint little street. Peter Pan Street, at that!

Life Is Good!

Last time I posted, Evelyn was still inhabiting my belly.  So much has changed since then... 3 months since her birth I think I'm getting the hang of things around here... juggling my roles: wife, homemaker, case-manager, and my newest & most important role: 
Mommy.

Evelyn is sleeping through the night... 11 hours! She began sleeping 9 hours at 6 weeks! God was gracious in inserting the "sleeping chip" when He created my Evelyn... He knew that, for this mommy, sleep & sanity are synonymous... That doesn't mean we haven't had our sleepless nights.  We have!! But they have been few & far between.  

(Early nights of colic & adjusting to new formula)

After my sabbatical of adjustment, I think I'm back to blogging 
(don't hold me to it...)

It's good to be back!

But, for your sake I'll stop blabbing & give you what you really want... 

Pictures of our Evelyn.

Oh!  And the much coveted recipe for Ruz-n-Yahknee!!! 

May your House smell like Home!

 First Day Home

2 Weeks Old

One Month

First Bath

3 Weeks

4 Weeks

6 weeks

First Halloween

Clowin' Around at 8 Weeks

(No, there are not wigs to fit infants on any market! Hence, Evie's homemade wig!!)

10 Weeks

3 Months Old!!

3 Months Old

In the layette I wore at her age!! 

Ruz & Yaknee

A Lebanese favorite that never fails to bring a family together!!

The important ingredient of this recipe is the dash of cinnamon!

Interpreted: Ruz (rice)

Yakhnee (Meat & Okra topping for rice)

Serves 6

Ingredients 

Ruz:
4 cups Uncle Ben's Original Rice (not instant)
1/2 cup vermicelli, broken into small pieces (1/4")
8 cups water
1/2 stick butter

Yakhnee:
2 lbs. whole frozen okra
1 large onion, slivered
1/2 tsp. cinnamon (to taste)
2 crushed cloves garlic
2 cans tomato sauce
1 can tomato juice
1 can tomato paste
1 large can whole tomatoes
2 lbs. cubed extra lean beef, cut into 1" squares
1/2 cup butter
salt & pepper to taste

Preparation

Yahknee:


Saute onions in butter in large (5 quart pot). Place cubed beef in with sauteed onions. Sprinkle with salt & pepper. Put enough water in pot just to cover the meat.
Cover & place on med-high heat until meat is braised & tender (most of water will be evaporated)

Add garlic, tomato sauce, tomato juice, tomato paste, whole tomatoes, & cinnamon.

Let cook on low until juice is thickened.

The longer this simmers, the more rich the flavors become. 
15 minutes prior to serving, add okra.

Ruz:

melt butter in bottom of large pot.
Add vermicelli and stir constantly until crispy and browned.
Add rice & water.
Cover & cook on medium-high for 15 minutes until all the water is evaporated. (do not overcook)

To Serve: Spoon Yaknee mixture on a mound of Ruz


Enjoy!! xoxo

My List of Truths

Leigh, my best-friend from home is getting married this weekend in our hometown, Clinton, Ok.  I'm so honored to be able to stand next to her as she exchanges vows with the love of her life!! 

Leigh's twin sister, and Maid of Honor, is doing all kinds of special things for Leigh.  One of these include a book of advice from the married women in her life, including me. 

So, I wrote her a note and listed some of the things that I have come to know to be true in my 3 short years of marriage... As I read over them, I think I'll use them as reminders to myself as well and inevidably add more truths as I learn more and more. 

I hope you find my list to inspire you to think of your own truths in maintaining a satisfying and healthy marriage.  I had a lot of fun sitting down and thinking of these bits for my friend... Hope You Enjoy!!!

My List of Truths

1. You are eachother's family now... Do only what's best for you as a couple

2. Do not use any other marriage/relationship as a prototype... Embrace your own new set of norms.

3. Words of appreciation go a long way! Even for the smallest things: She cooks dinner, does the dishes, and finishes a couple loads of laundry one evening?? Hubby: tell her how much you appreciate all she does...

He takes out the trash and puts his dirty clothes in the hamper ALL IN ONE DAY!!?? Thank him for his effort!!

4. Be specific about what you expect from one another! Expectations are unavoidable and are imperative in maintaining satisfaction.  But, problems will arise if you expect something you haven't stated.  In this case, your expectations will surely not be met... There's nothing worse!  And this can be easily avoided through accurate communication.

5. Sharing families is NOT easy.  Always be fair to one another.

6. Occasionally wear your apron... And nothing else

7. Try to always go to bed together.  Pillow talk can be the most intimate kind of communication.

8.  Back eachother on everything... even if one of you may be wrong.

9. Always kiss hello...Always kiss goodbye

10. Always kiss goodnight

11. Hubby: if you ask your wife if somethng is wrong and she says "nothing"... ask again in another way.  DO NOT stop asking until she breaks down & tells you.   ON THE OTHER HAND: if you already know what is wrong with her, DO NOT ask her what it is!!! Address the problem without her having to tell you what upset her.  Life will be so much easier for you both! I promise!!!

Example: Hubby goes golfing with the guys & promises to be home by dinner time.  When he arrives home, dinner is cold and his wife is hungry & pouting.  DO NOT ASK HER WHAT'S WRONG!! Instead, say something like, "I told you I would be home by dinner & I wasn't.  I'm so sorry.  You must feel like I don't appreciate all your hard work in preparing our meal.  I do appreciate it and I won't do that again!!! I'm sorry & I love you"

THEN DO THE DAMN DISHES FOR HER!

12. Do Not fight in public.  Wait until you get home.  Then, fight effectively!! Fighting can be a great thing, but seizes to be great if nothing is resolved.

13. Listen to eachother... show you've listened by behaving as though you took something away from the conversation.

14. Always be honest... No matter the consequences

15. NEVER leave or get off the phone without saying 'I Love You'

16. Do Not Keep Score!!

17. Always keep eachother's letters, notes, cards, reminders on post-its, etc.  These are so much fun to look back on... and one day even your children may come across them and be comforted by how much their momma & daddy love each other.

18. Be quick to apologize when you're wrong... expect nothing less than a quick apology when you're not!

19. Compliment eachother often!

20. Lastly,  Keep sex interesting! There's nothing worse than feeling robotic or as if it's a chore... This really is so important!!

Blessed Beyond Imagination

Miss Evelyn had her first baby shower last weekend...

Such Blessings!!

I am absolutely blown away by the generosity of my friends & family.

Evelyn recieved all her big items... including all of her crib linens from my gracious hostesses.

I never expected to get all Evie's linens... At least not as one complete gift!! I figured I'd buy the remaining pieces after our showers.  The thought of being able to save that money for other necessities makes me tear up... gives me goosebumps! 

Jordan, Evelyn, and I are blessed beyond imagination...

I washed all of Evelyn's clothes and blankets that she's recieved and have them all in her closet or folded nicely in her crib. 
I'm still waiting on her dresser/changer to put everything else away.

I also went on an Etsy binge the other day and got Ev some precious head pieces...

I've recieved all my purchases and am having a hard time not wearing them myself

A Special Thank You

I was on a time crunch earlier when I posted Evelyn's Lullaby.  

I was so anxious to share my new favorite song with all of you 

...I didn't give Jodi the proper thanks she deserves...

I've always said that the only kind of friendships worth having are the ones where you can go months, sometimes even years, without seeing one another and losing no loyalty on either end.

Jodi Davis is exactly the type of friend who cherishes & practices the same kind of friendships that I  hold so dear.

I met Jodi in highschool through a mutual friend... we hit it off immediately and even after the initial mutual friendship had severed on my end, I always knew that Jodi would continue to be a great friend.

The one thing about Jodi that has always stopped me dead in my tracks and kept me mesmerized for hours is her incredible instrument that so few people are graced with... her God given singing talent makes my hair stand on ends and always inspires me to sing myself (I used to sort of have a half-way decent voice... I've abandoned singing, but am always inspired by Jodi's awesome talent)

Anyway, it was about 20 weeks into this pregnancy, after we had picked out a name for the baby. I was laying in bed listening to my "night night playlist" on my iphone.  

Dixie Chicks' 'God Speed' came on and I heard myself singing along lightly.  

Natalie Maines would sing "Godspeed Little Man...Sweet Dreams Little Man"

 And out of my mouth came "Godspeed Evelyn... Sweet Dreams Evelyn"

I sat straight up in bed and thought to myself, 

'I could have this song recorded to be just for ev'.  

I turned on my bedside lamp and picked up a pen and paper and began jotting down the original lyrics of Godspeed while changing the parts that referred to a little boy into phrases that were perfect for my little girl.  I had the perfect song written (or rewritten I should say)... then I thought of Jodi.

Jodi moved to Nashville some years ago to break into the music industry... I messaged her on facebook that night asking her to please record Evelyn's Lullaby for me.  It must have been 1:30 am when I sent the message.  And she accepted whole heartedly the next morning...

So, Jodi: thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for having the undying loyalty that so few people possess & that I treasure above most other attributes.  Thank you for taking the time and using your resources & beautiful voice to give Evelyn the most special gift.  

Evie is going to absolutely love her lullaby & her aunt jodi! 

Evelyn's Lullaby
(turn up your volume)

                                   

Lyrics Recreated by Evelyn's Momma

Performed by Jodi Davis

Puppy Tails & 'The Water is Wide'

Mermaids Sail & Bluebirds Fly

Fish Bite Moonbeams Every Night

And I Love You

God Speed, Evelyn

Sweet Dreams, Evelyn

My Love Will Fly With You Each Night On Angel's Wings

God Speed...Sweet Dreams

Momma's Angel's All Tuckered Out

Evie Lays In Pajamas On The Couch

Goodnight Moon, We'll Find The Mouse

And I Love You

God Speed, Evelyn

Sweet Dreams, Evelyn

My Love Will Fly With You Each Night On Angel's Wings

God Speed...Sweet Dreams

God Bless Mommy & All That's Ours

God Bless Dad & Thanks For the Stars

God Hears 'Amen' Wherever We Are

And I Love You

God Speed, Evelyn

Sweet Dreams, Evelyn

My Love Will Fly With You Each Night On Angel's Wings

God Speed...Sweet Dreams

God Speed

Sweet Dreams

In the Name of His Own Family

Time is going by so fast! Too fast! I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted... 

My life since my last post could be summed up as follows: 

...sam & jack are the best of friends, as i expected...
...before my travel restriction began i took a trip to mexico with my entire family for a week (bliss!)...

 ...my husband got a new job!!...

...jordan finally got LASIK & is hilarious when on Valum...

...our 3 year anniversary came & went...

...Evelyn's nursery is STILL incomplete...

... it's hot & i'm miserable...

 ...i'm down to biweekly doctor appointments...

(which blows my mind b/c we're getting so close to evie's arrival)

Some parts of this summary deserve further explaining...

_________________________________________________________

My cousin, Floyd III, got married a few weeks ago in Playa del Secreto, Mexico.  My entire family used the wedding weekend as an opportunity for a much-needed family trip.  For 8 days I was in heaven.   My parents rented one of the privately owned homes that make up the 1/2 mile beachfront strip called Playa del Secreto.  It was wonderful!  


We all had our own rooms & bathrooms, which is not an easy ammenity to come by when you're talking about 13 people under one roof! 


Our grounds were a dream: there was a huge pool with a lazy river that butted up to a palapa with a restroom & outdoor kitchen/dining area.  From the pool we could walk 10 ft. to the private beach.  


Since we weren't at a resort with restaurants, we didn't want my mother slaving in the kitchen the entire week, and going into town for lunch/dinner would require 13 people leaving the pool or beach, seize drinking sol & cocktails, shower & dress appropriately, get in our 2 rented vans & drive to either Playa del Carman or Cancun and search for a restaurant where we would undoubtedly spend a large sum of money, my parents had the most brilliant idea!


Instead of living the previous assumption of events, my parents opted to hire full time chefs to be at our house... Every morning we were each served a large plate of fresh fruit & then the brunch of our choice: fish tacos, ceviche, breakfast enchiladas, waffles/pancakes for the kids & me!!! They stayed all day and served us drinks by the pool and kept our bowls full of homemade chips, fresh guacamole & pico de gallo.  Then they'd serve us dinner which was always incredibly delectible!! We absolutely loved Fernando (head chef) & Allen (sous chef)... by the end of the week they were definately our amigos :)  


Also, A big thanks to Lucy & her family for keeping our sheets fresh and our house in order !!! 

________________________________________________________

My husband got a new job!!!

Background: In 1976, Rusty Loeffler opened a restaurant in Norman, Ok called Interurban.  In the last 35 years Interurban has blossomed into a growing chain and has also become a Norman staple.  It was only natural for Jordan to work the business in which he grew up.  The restaurant is as comfortable to Jordan as home.  Without even knowing it, Jordan was primed from birth to be a talented & successful restaurateur. 3 years ago Jordan started managing different Interurbans in Oklahoma City, Yukon, and was eventually managing the newest store in Norman.  


For those of you who have been or know somebody who is in the restaurant business, you can understand and appreciate the lifestyle that is required by a restaurant manager.  If you're like I was 3 years ago, you have no idea.  Let me clue you in.  In a nutshell: when the rest of the world is vacationing, off work, or celebrating any holiday or event you can bet the restaurant is at its busiest.  


What does this mean? My husband usually works 5-6 days a week. On the weeks that he is given 2 days off, they are never consecutive. 13-15 hour shifts are not uncommon, he works almost EVERY night until 12pm-1am.  Weekend get-aways (or any plans on the weekend for that matter) are out of the question.  Trips ended after our honeymoon.  Holidays, I have come to understand, are spent without my husband.


I'm not going to lie and say this lifestyle has been easy.  It hasn't.  But, at no point did I urge my husband to leave the restaurant for a career that would allow him to be home in the evenings, weekends, & holidays.  In fact, I myself fell in love with the restaurant. 


I was, at times, very lonely... but, most times, I was just so thankful that my husband has the kind of work ethic that few people possess. Ultimately, Jordan works his ass off for us.


I had accepted that this was, and always would be, our life story.  But, then the most miraculous thing happened: Evelyn!!!  


About 3 months ago, Jordan came home after a really long and hard weekend at the restaurant.  I was working on the nursery. He came in, stood in the middle of Evelyn's room, looked around, and said, "You know, I've missed out on the past three years.  I've missed out on us, and it's been okay because I was working and that only seemed natural.  And it was okay because I knew you could handle it.  But, I'm not willing to miss out on this.  I'm not willing to miss out on Evelyn."  


So  that was it.  He started researching careers that would continue to peak his interest while allowing him to be present in our family.  After 2 interviews with Republic National Distributing Co., Jordan was offered a position as a Liquor & Wine Representative.  


What does this mean? First & foremost: A normal lifestyle.  My husband sets his own hours, working during the day and coming home by dinner time.  Weekends & holidays: Evelyn will spend every moment with her daddy & momma.  Wanna take a week off for a quick trip? No problem! Not to mention, an immediate increase in salary & lots of chances for bonuses & promotions.  


I am so proud of Jordan for taking a step back and reevaluating whether he's meeting the needs of our family & his own in sustaining our priority: which is family.  For  making the hardest decision he's ever had to make and leaving his father's burgeoning company that was built with his parent's blood, sweat, & tears... all of this, in the name of His Own Family.  

___________________________________________________

Kaizer

So, I've been MIA... mentally, socially, & technologically.  

A lot has happened since my last post.

Kaizer was my shi tzu that has been my baby for 6 years.  I love him dearly! I got him during a rough patch during college and he served as my source of comfort and has since been my best friend. 

Kaizer

.

I told in my previous post of how we had a scare when we were told Kaizer had encountered some sort of abdominal blunt force trauma and had luckily survived.  Jordan's theory differed from the veterinary's theory on what exactly happened the day we found kaizer acting so strange.  The vet said he was either kicked or hit by a car.


My husband, in his infinite wisdom, suggested that kaizer had probably gotten stuck under the gate we had just installed, and struggled to get out: causing internal injuries.  The new gate replaced the old gate that left a 3 inch gap from itself and the ground.  Kaizer had no trouble digging a bit under the old gate and slipping right through to go hang out with the neighbors or lay in our front yard watching the cars pass, waiting on jordan or i to get home... But, this new gate was flush to the ground.  even opening it was a challenge.  We installed the new gate to protect kaizer: we were always fearful that he would get hit by a car when he got out... 


so, saturday mid-morning i put kaizer and sam in the backyard to enjoy the beautiful day.  kaizer was 100% after his mysterious blunt force trauma incident... at about 1:30 i went out to get the dogs.  sam reluctantly came in from over by the gate... kaizer never came.  I assumed he had gotten out again and went out front to start calling for him.  i then rounded the corner over on the side of our house where our gate is.  That's when I saw him.  Kaizer's body was jammed under the fence, his head on the backyard side.  I dug with my bare hands to release him, but he was already gone.  Ironically the gate we installed to protect our little man killed him.


I, of course, was ballistic... and alone.  Jordan couldn't leave work.  My Uncle Si was so sweet to come get Kaizer's body and bury him on land outside of norman.  We chose not to bury him in our backyard in fear that Sam would dig him up.


I've been grieving hard... Sam's been grieving harder.  Kaizer was Sam's best friend and Sam watched him die, possibly trying his hardest to save him.  Sam's experience is even more tragic than mine, and his grief is a testiment to that.  Sam will hardly eat, has no energy, and most hours of the day can be found laying in the backyard by the gate.  It's breaking my heart that I can't make it better for him.


The best thing I could have done for my own grief was start over with another puppy to love.  I got another shi-tzu that looks an awful lot like kaizer.  He's the sweetest little guy and is definately softening the blow of the loss of my kaiz.  The new puppy's name is Jack.

Meet Jack

Sam is trying his hardest to be hospitable to the new member of our family.  

I know he's confused, but one day they'll be the best of friends.

Kaizer: I love you more than you could have ever known.  

You were my sweetest boy! And you are missed every day!