Leigh, my best-friend from home is getting married this weekend in our hometown, Clinton, Ok. I'm so honored to be able to stand next to her as she exchanges vows with the love of her life!!
Leigh's twin sister, and Maid of Honor, is doing all kinds of special things for Leigh. One of these include a book of advice from the married women in her life, including me.
So, I wrote her a note and listed some of the things that I have come to know to be true in my 3 short years of marriage... As I read over them, I think I'll use them as reminders to myself as well and inevidably add more truths as I learn more and more.
I hope you find my list to inspire you to think of your own truths in maintaining a satisfying and healthy marriage. I had a lot of fun sitting down and thinking of these bits for my friend... Hope You Enjoy!!!
My List of Truths
1. You are eachother's family now... Do only what's best for you as a couple
2. Do not use any other marriage/relationship as a prototype... Embrace your own new set of norms.
3. Words of appreciation go a long way! Even for the smallest things: She cooks dinner, does the dishes, and finishes a couple loads of laundry one evening?? Hubby: tell her how much you appreciate all she does...
He takes out the trash and puts his dirty clothes in the hamper ALL IN ONE DAY!!?? Thank him for his effort!!
4. Be specific about what you expect from one another! Expectations are unavoidable and are imperative in maintaining satisfaction. But, problems will arise if you expect something you haven't stated. In this case, your expectations will surely not be met... There's nothing worse! And this can be easily avoided through accurate communication.
5. Sharing families is NOT easy. Always be fair to one another.
6. Occasionally wear your apron... And nothing else
7. Try to always go to bed together. Pillow talk can be the most intimate kind of communication.
8. Back eachother on everything... even if one of you may be wrong.
9. Always kiss hello...Always kiss goodbye
10. Always kiss goodnight
11. Hubby: if you ask your wife if somethng is wrong and she says "nothing"... ask again in another way. DO NOT stop asking until she breaks down & tells you. ON THE OTHER HAND: if you already know what is wrong with her, DO NOT ask her what it is!!! Address the problem without her having to tell you what upset her. Life will be so much easier for you both! I promise!!!
Example: Hubby goes golfing with the guys & promises to be home by dinner time. When he arrives home, dinner is cold and his wife is hungry & pouting. DO NOT ASK HER WHAT'S WRONG!! Instead, say something like, "I told you I would be home by dinner & I wasn't. I'm so sorry. You must feel like I don't appreciate all your hard work in preparing our meal. I do appreciate it and I won't do that again!!! I'm sorry & I love you"
THEN DO THE DAMN DISHES FOR HER!
12. Do Not fight in public. Wait until you get home. Then, fight effectively!! Fighting can be a great thing, but seizes to be great if nothing is resolved.
13. Listen to eachother... show you've listened by behaving as though you took something away from the conversation.
14. Always be honest... No matter the consequences
15. NEVER leave or get off the phone without saying 'I Love You'
16. Do Not Keep Score!!
17. Always keep eachother's letters, notes, cards, reminders on post-its, etc. These are so much fun to look back on... and one day even your children may come across them and be comforted by how much their momma & daddy love each other.
18. Be quick to apologize when you're wrong... expect nothing less than a quick apology when you're not!
19. Compliment eachother often!
20. Lastly, Keep sex interesting! There's nothing worse than feeling robotic or as if it's a chore... This really is so important!!
